Gak tau harus mulai dari mana gue menulis entri blog gue kali ini...
sebenernya agak nekat juga, harusnya gue nyari pasien,tapi malah nge blog.. yah... smoga dengan ini, gue bisa berpikir lebih jernih...
huff...
memutuskan untuk menjalin hubungan dengan seseorang di umur gue yang udah 21 tahun ini, ternyata gak se simple dulu... dulu.. rasanya smua mudah-mudah aja... asal dia seiman, dan baik.. that's all... sekarang gue harus menimbang2x banyak hal, mulai dari tingkat pendidikan, status sosial, dsb.
gak cukup hanya dengan rasa saling menyayangi, lalu kami nekat untuk melanjutkan ke jenjang lebih serius...
Akhirnya gue sampai di persimpangan itu, bukan hanya sekedar perasaan tapi juga logika, bukan hanya sekedar cinta tapi juga strata...
mungkin kalian akan berpikir, kemana nari yang idealis dulu? yang bilang bahwa kita gak perlu cari pangeran berkuda putih, tapi malah mendukung rakyat biasa untuk menjadi pahlawan berkuda putih.. (knapa sih kudanya harus putih, kenapa gak hitam atau coklat, atau belang2x?? hemmm)???
yep nari yang itu masih ada, tapi ternyata emang dia rada hipokrit, giliran diperhadapkan dengan masalah yang sebenarnya, dia malah seperti ini...
Jujur akhir-akhir ini itu jadi pergumulan tersendiri buat gue, apa yang akan gue perbuat nanti, apa harus begini? apa jalan ini yang benar? kenapa hati gue gak nyaman, kenapa gue ngerasa gak layak untuk dicintai? dikagumi seperti ini? disayang seperti ini? kenapa gue ngerasa dia lebih pantas untuk dapatkan yang bener2x ajeg dengan dia, bukan dengan gue yang gak bisa menjanjikan apa-apa, yang gak bisa janji apakah akan bisa bersama sampai akhir nanti... yang hanya bisa menghabiskan waktu, tenaga, pikiran, uang, bahkan perasaan tanpa kepastian yang jelas.
And I know you love me now, but I don't see why you should
Karena cinta gak sesimple yang kurasa dulu
*gambar diambil dari www.allisongregoryfineart.com*
14 comments:
kl ngomongin masalah cinta.....kata kuncinya sih let it flow dan ikutin kata hati
nah itu kak...
ikutin kata hati ya?? kadang-kadang logika ku lebih main sih kalo masalah cinta ini... huhuhuhuhu
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